Tag Archives: age

If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

This post was to be about something I’ve actually learned, a little lesson I wouldn’t have noticed or cared about when I was younger because I was too impulsive, impatient, and hot-tempered. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t mellowed in my old age, I still throw tantrums that can halt a herd of stampeding elephants, but I’ve accepted a few things here and there.

For instance, some people just suck. Really. I used to sit around agonizing about why somebody would say or do something that could be hurtful to someone else. Now? “They suck.” It’s a pithy observation, isn’t it? I can’t be bothered to dissect the vagaries of their personality. There really is no more to add. We all know people who suck, but why do they?

The ones who suck do so because they’re toxic. For whatever reason, no matter how nice you try to be, or how cheery, they will crap on your day. Really. No matter what is making you happy, they’ll attack it with rabid joy. If they do so on Twitter or Facebook, I hit block and defriend. Marvelous! I, if you haven’t noticed, am an Eeyore. I believe there is a black cloud that looms over me (yes, my Twitter handle is ironic), but I won’t sit around trying to pull you down with me. Nor will I expect you to be as outraged as I am about whatever is causing my latest rant. The toxic ones cannot abide someone having a good day. I used to get really upset about these phone calls or visits with them, but one calm evening, while having drinks with a friend, it was pointed out to me that to be around toxicity is to absorb it into your life. Who needs that? It’s like requesting an asbestos wrap at the day spa. Friendships are built on goodwill and love. Why keep them in your life if they can’t support you in the bad times and celebrate with you in the good?

My friend was right. Since then, I pared my interactions down to a manageable limit. I still come across them on Facebook, at the grocery store, or get their “blocked” calls on my cell phone, but for the most part, I’m happier without dealing with their negativity. And that’s what describes these people perfectly: negativity. They’re the envious ones, the ones who make light of what you’ve got to celebrate, or who say belittling things behind your back. I’m a Leo, believe me, if I’ve a problem with you, you’ll get it to your face. Cowardice, negativity, and envy do not make good friends. They make toxic people. Rise above and move away from them. You’ll be happier.